Saturday, January 28, 2006


Michelle never needed to consult a higher being for her thoughts, she seemed to be absent of the virus that is the human condition. Mortality in her mind was a given and questions that pollute the minds of others were never given a second thought. The metaphysical sense is just a denial of the unwanted physical reality, she thought.

Sociality in her mind was a bittersweet necessity, made less important with the rise of productive personal relationship. James wasn’t her intellectual equal but a catalyst in thoughts she never considered. Michelle liked to wake up at least five minutes before James anticipate his first thoughts and quiz herself to what the answers would be.

“What does it mean to be productive”, he says unsealing eyes and rubbing the dried tears away from the nights sleep.

“To live”, she says with the confidence of study. “To breathe, to allow your heart to pump blood throughout your body”.

“What if you lie in bed and do nothing”.

“Then you die, and death is not living”.

Michelle enjoys the subtle reaffirmation of content but James has yet to feel this pleasure. James rolls over onto Michelle rather clumsily. He chuckles for himself and heads for his favorite spot on Michelle’s neck. Amazing as it is, nothing can penetrate the focus of Michelle’s mind. She can feel James penetrate her but the following indifferent. She wonders how many women would enjoy this type of activity. She doesn’t dislike their sex but disputes whether the theatrics are needed. She watches James face frown, the veins in his neck strain; she is able to see the human condition. No one in our society would accept the depravity that a man shows in the act of sex, yet they constantly seek it out. This image of James makes her think of an animal, small pathetic and without civility. The desperate passion of sweat and saliva reminds her that we are all stricken with the same disease. We are all nasty, disgusting, desperate animals hanging onto the future of our existence by thin string not able to withstand another blow.

She doesn’t dislike the animalistic nature of James; she only wishes he’d showcase it in all avenues and not suppress it like the world is a circus of bars. James finishes quickly and it is done. James is a selfish lover by Michelle’s request. If there is one thing she would like to think she has taught him it would be that. There is no greater joy than the male orgasm and to deny that to any man at any time is cruel and usual punishment. She would use his image for her own sexual pleasure later long after he has left.

To be continued….


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